Just like that, the Hood Bar gig came and went. It was great while it lasted. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I hope my friends who came down did too!
I learnt a few things from that one hour set yesterday. To summarize it all, I’d say: Don’t get lost in the mix.
Each of us is responsible for our own sound. Be it at the studio or on stage. You can never trust the sound man no matter how ‘experienced’ he looks. This is why I choose to invest in only the best equipment so that if anything should go wrong, I know its within my power to correct it there and then and that its not due to the limitations of my equipment. If you can make $10k worth of equipment sound like shit, then you know its your incompetency.
Its very unfortunate that some of us couldn’t be heard or was ‘caught in the mix’. I know its very upsetting to learn from your friends that you couldn’t be heard during the set. I had a great time but seeing my bandmates getting upset after what seemed to be an awesome run is just depressing. This cannot happen every time. We have to take control of what matters most to us. That’s why I chose to spend $400/- on a wireless just so that R would have one less thing to worry on stage. I’d say its well worth the money.
After the gig, I got many positive remarks on R’s stage presence. Mostly because many haven’t seen R before. Constructive criticism is usually hard to extract after a gig with a house full of friends and family. I had the honor of having my two brothers watch and critique the show last night. My younger bro has the knack for listening to the technicalities of the music while my older bro understands the dynamics of the stage. One of the comments were that while R’s stage presence was good, he must learn not to be indulgent. Its one thing to play for the audience and another to play on your own. It one thing to exploit R’s confidence and another to let him run loose and get carried away.
I’m just wondering if R is a part of me or apart from me. After that last note of Mechanized Heart, he left, just like that. If only I had the qualities and confidence of R in rein, life would be so much more. That will be the day when red fades to white.
Life has just begun, just begun.
- Untitled track, Patriot
I finally know what its like. To be able to let go of all my reservations and fears on stage, to be able to just feel the music and not obsess over things I can’t control.
Many things went wrong today on stage: A/B Channel failure mid song, messed up song structure for Food Fetish, sweat soaked fretboard, Bullet Cable getting in the way, etc. So many other things could’ve gone wrong BUT I didn’t care. My friends had all come down specially to support me. I couldn’t be selfish and let those things bring the gig down. For the first time, I was proud of my music and I was bent on putting on a good show.
I’m very glad I took this opportunity to allow Raphael to manage the show. He didn’t care whether the fretboard was soaked with sweat. Neither did he give a damn when the A/B channel switcher failed. He just played from the bottom of his heart: something Ben had always been too afraid to do.
On a side note, Raphael must learn not to thrash Ben’s $3000 Gibson.
Lastly, To my big brothers Myles Kennedy and Mark Tremonti, thank you for Raphael.
Day 9.5
I’m so bored. PS3’s dead: HDD failure i think.
Lunch was pretty crappy. Had mashed tofu in prawn soup. Yucks. Food in magazines never looked so real before. I’m still hungry hahaha!
So I started watching How I Met Your Mother. Pretty damn good show lol. Been laughing with my bounded jaws till they hurt. I’m at episode 6? Head’s a lil spinny though.
After tuesday, I’m gonna roam around Singapore regardless of the swelling. I’m just gonna put on a medical mask and don my hoodie. Ice Cream. Spaghetti. Mac & Cheese. For once, I’d rather spend my money on food then on guitar stuff. I’m THAT hungry. Weight dropped to 60Kg flat already. Thats about 4.5Kg loss?
No news from Patriot on how the recording went. I guess it went well?
Day 9
Which means… 3 more days till the bands come off! YUMMY FOOD AWAITS!
1) CHICKEN
2) Porridge
3) Spagetti Bolognese
4) Macaroni and Cheese
5) EGGS :D
Had the best sleep last night after confronting those ‘error messages’. Lets just hope things will pick up from here!
Patriot’s finally getting down to rerecording the vocals for Mechanized Heart, our second original at Beats today. Let’s just hope everything goes well.
I’m so hungryyyyy… i need food… real food..
Today: Guitar, guitar, guitar! :D
Day 8
The nightmares have been getting from bad to worse since the operation. Its like a virus feeding on my thoughts, or the absence of it. My mind is a total blank state. Its like everything was erased along with the protruding jawline. My mind is a blank slate. I find myself waking up at odd hours just trying to find out answers to irrelevant questions or shapes and geometry that I don’t understand.
Day 3 was about which Marshall amp had the highest gain: the model numbers ADSL and DSL2000 just kept replaying in my head thousands of times to the point where I will wake up trying to tell myself that it didn’t matter. (Not to mention that these model numbers were made up by my mind and do not correspond to existing models).
Day 4 involved black on white Sharpie drawings that flashed one after the other. Like those Indie Sharpie drawings Iry used to draw in JC. I don’t know the question. I just know that I was trying to find an answer.
Day 7 was about geometry and shapes I didn’t understand. Flashes of geometry that I couldn’t resolve kept whizzing by one after another. Like some CAD drawing that I didn’t get. I had a similar dream during the semester which involved unresolved Google Sketchup lines that I just couldn’t connect. Again, I didn’t have the question this time.
Today was the worst. I forgot why I was in bed in the first place. I had forgotten why I took my hoodie from the closet to bed. I didn’t know why the blanket had to be folded in weird shapes. My heart was beating way too slowly for the amount of panic I was in. I got up, looked at myself in the mirror, still didn’t help me find the answers. Took me a trip to the kitchen and half a bottle of Pink Dolphin to make me come to my senses.
I’m so sick of going through this shit over and over again every night. Its starting to freak me out man. I need to get out of this place asap after my jaws are unbounded on Tuesday. The swelling is still quite bad. The pressure in my lower jaw is killing me and the aches in my neck are getting more unbearable.
The operation was extended for an additional 2 hours, bringing the total hours in operation to 8. What could have warranted the need for 8 hours in surgery? Followed by a full day in High Dependency? Maybe something went wrong? lol. I guess we’ll never know.
The extended periods under anesthesia must have caused some problems in data retrieval. This is reason why I don’t drink, or partake in any kind of activity which would force me out of my conscious state of mind.
I really hope things get better from here on. I’m not going to sleep until I’m completely drained. I haven’t had solid food in a week, just liquids like soup and.. soup. Fuck. Fucking soup. And mash potato from KFuckingC. I want some damn meat or porridge for that matter. I drink Ribena for every fucking meal and mom thinks mash potatoes are heaven to me since I can get it in the damn syringe. I hope I don’t have to document another nightmare or some form of ‘error in data retrieval’ tomorrow. I just want a good rest. And I want to jam soon. Soon.
